ptrk- ‘scared to grow up’ [Album Review]

Emerging artist ptrk presents his new self-produced/written album, scared to grow up, a 15-track conceptual project that follows the life of a character named  Joshua Stanfeld, a young adult trying to find his footing and true purpose in this world. The project uses a 2000s-style radio show as a recurring motif that drives the story as ptrk explores themes of insecurity, identity, and financial and emotional struggles.

The project opens with “welcome to the show,” which helps set the tone by giving listeners a bit of a backstory into Joshua’s character. The beat has a retro R&B/hiphop vibe and a playful vocal performance by ptrk, who does offbeat melodic runs with heartfelt lyrics that give insight into Joshua’s journey. “you have me” is a solemn track about human connection, emotional turbulence and the power of love. Built around a plucky guitar lick and minimal percussion, ptrk delivers an emotionally powerful performance with heartfelt lyrics like “comparing yourself to others around, but trust me when I say this, you are enough.” This is followed by “When you’re drunk,” which has a reflective tone and is a sharp contrast to the previous track. It talks about trauma and conditional friendship filled with favours and a lack of reciprocity. It’s quite relatable and touches on the delicate topic of fairweather friends who act as anchors in one’s life. This is followed by “conventional” and “popped the line,” two tracks that continue the story. The former talks about being unique and the social implications of trying to be different, while the latter dives into the loss of one’s personality and the steps taken to reframe it.

As a conceptual project, scared to grow up, takes listeners on a rollercoaster ride that shows the progression of Joshua’s character. He is flawed, emotionally damaged, but he does take accountability and actionable steps along the way. On the title track, ptrk faces his self-inflicted trauma and his fears with a candid approach. The trepidation that comes with growth as a young man can be life-changing but he knows the sooner he outgrows the Peter Pan phase, the better he will become. Backed by an ominous, grief-stricken backdrop filled with dark and moody chords, he sings “I am scared to grow up, I don’t know why, I just don’t wnna lie, try my best to hide my feelings, Don’t know why/I try to wind the clocks away but I can’t bring myself to do it .” Production-wise, we get a typical laidback groove on “Scandalous” to the West Coast-inspired synths on “bad idea,” and a plucky texture-driven bounce on “bleed a dime” while the Latin guitars help kick off “motherland” where he tackles identity crisis in the modern world, where the majority tries to enforce their culture and beliefs on others. This track is bookended by “anna (interlude),” a skit about attachment and confliction about one’s true roots.

The last part of the project keeps pushing the narrative with a handful of topics ranging from love, nostalgia and the passage of time. “gushing over you” has a classic R&B feel, comprising soothing pads, slick textures and sees ptrk pouring his heart on wax. The lyrics deal with infatuation and being neck deep in love for that special someone that it eventually takes over his life. The next track, “Outdated” dives into change and growth and the blurred lines that colour one’s perspective. Here, he feels stuck in a place and obsolete and sees the world slowly moving on and leaving him behind. The jaded tone and reflective aesthetics shine through while he figures things out. The album ends on a sad note with the ballad “truth be told,” which dives into the aftermath of a breakup. The piano arrangement has a complaisant and calm vibe, and the lyrics dive deep into the reasons behind the breakup and the emotional turmoil surrounding the situation. In a way, it feels like a self-assessment of sorts and helps bring the project full circle as prtk takes the weight off his shoulders.

In general, scared to grow up, is relatable and well-crafted. The songwriting is dynamic and explores a several topics so it’s far from stale. The production is smooth, somewhat dusty in a retro type of manner but I will be honest, it’s serviceable and gets the job done.

Stream on all DSPs here.

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